Dan Reiland The Pastor's Coach – Developing Church Leaders

Category / Relationships

If a leader loses influence, it rarely evaporates instantly.

It’s usually more like a pin-sized hole in a balloon. The leak is so slow it’s barely perceptible. The balloon flies high at first – seemingly tugging on its string. Then it slowly begins to drop. In few days, you wake up and see the balloon laying on the floor, and much smaller than it used to be.

There are rare circumstances, such as a moral failure, that result in the loss of influence overnight. In the vast majority of situations, it’s subtle and slow. Unfortunately, sometimes it’s not noticed until it’s too late.

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Don’t underestimate the significance of whether or not the people you lead like you.

Respect and trust are essential, but without the foundation of a positive relationship, leadership becomes very difficult.

Every time we hire someone at 12Stone Church, I ask the supervisor this question about the candidate they just interviewed, “So, what did you think?” Their first response is always, “Well, I liked her.” Then they go into the details. Or, the initial reaction is: “You know, I didn’t really like him.” It always starts with relationships. Always.

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All leaders have blind spots.

We can’t see what we can’t see.

That’s not an indictment; it’s a reality. It’s part of being human.

I depend on close insiders to advise me, coach me, and tell me the truth. Without that, I’m nearly guaranteed to do most things the hard way. I’ll make and repeat avoidable mistakes, miss opportunities, and possibly – unknowingly hurt relationships. When I make myself accountable to a team, not only am I better, the whole team is better.

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Jim and Jerolyn Bogear are trusted friends, who have planted, led, and worked with churches, and now focus on raising up healthy relationships, marriages, and teams. Check out their website! As guest writers today, their post will offer you great practical thoughts and resources! Their book, Faith Legacy for Couples, is one of those great resources.

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