Dan Reiland The Pastor's Coach – Developing Church Leaders

Category / Relationships

We’ve all received hurtful emails.

We’ve all received email that makes our mouth drop open and say “What?!” Here’s a real email I received a few years ago.

Thanks so much for canceling church services on Sunday 12/25. You’re helping me win the war to make Christmas just another day. Why let that Jesus guy get in the way of presents and Santa? Great decision. Now if I can get the Baptists and Catholics on board!

In your debt,

Lucifer

Yes, this is a wildly “out there” example, but it’s a real email. And it’s my only one from Satan!

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More people in your life than time to see them is a fortunate tension.

The tension is a blessed one because we’re fortunate to be loved, needed, wanted or candidly, have anyone seek us out and want some time. That’s not overly self-deprecating, it’s a healthy perspective.

As leaders, we’re blessed to be helpful to others. It’s a privilege to get to encourage, care for, and develop people. And it’s fun just to enjoy these moments as well!

It’s a dangerous thing when a leader begins to see people as an interruption, a problem or “one more ask.”

But we do need to be honest about the tension.

One of the greatest challenges of a leader is to make people decisions. You just can’t see everyone.

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Even good leaders can have bad habits.

There are some scary truths about bad habits that hinder our ability to break them.

  • Scary truth #1: Sometimes we really don’t see the habit. (We need a friend to tell us.)
  • Scary truth #2: Sometimes we justify the habit because of heavy pressure or high productivity.
  • Scary truth #3: Sometimes we kind of like the habit, and we don’t want to stop.
  • Scary truth #4: Sometimes we’ve lived the habit so long, it becomes a lifestyle we adapt to.
  • Scary truth #5: Sometimes those around us let us off the hook when they should call us on it.
  • Scary truth #6: Sometimes we minimize and dismiss it because it’s not a “sin.”

One bad habit of mine is that I often run about 5 minutes late to a meeting, sometimes even 10 or more. It really is a bad habit. Being late doesn’t convey how much I value and care about the person who is waiting. It puts me in a rushed state of mind, and it communicates that maybe it’s OK for others to be late.

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What do people want from their church leader?

You might be a senior pastor, volunteer small group leader, campus pastor, head usher, student pastor, or leader of the parking team.

Ultimately, people want the same basic things from you as a leader.

Some of the people you serve may place a lot of demands on you, and you’ll go crazy if you try to meet all those demands.

But I have found, in general, that most people are reasonable, and at the core, they want the same essentials from a leader.

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