Category / Relationships

Very few leaders possess what I refer to as “Stadium Filling Charisma.”

You know what I mean, a personality that is larger than life and people flock to be around that person.

When they are in the lobby of the church there is always a crowd of maybe 20 — 25 – 30 people gathered around them!

I don’t have that kind of charisma, do you?

The good news is, that kind of charisma is not a qualifier for you to become a great leader.

In fact, in some cases, it can be a detriment. Organizations tied to a leader with a big personality can become dependent on that person.

She was 22, and I was 26. We were both clueless but head-over-heels in love. We got married on June 27, 1981!

Patti and I celebrated our 38^th anniversary this year over a quiet and simple dinner together in Atlanta. Two years ago we celebrated big with a dream trip of a lifetime to Italy.

When it comes to your marriage, it doesn’t matter if you celebrate big or small, it’s all about the experiences and memories you create together.

We’ve been in full-time ministry our entire marriage which has included:

Two kids, one Son-In-Law, three dogs, three states, three churches, four mortgages, and several sets of braces later, we are still in love. Candidly, it’s not always easy. But the joys and blessings are so worth it. Oh, did I mention, our first grandchild is on the way?!

What a great adventure it has been, and with much more to go!

No marriage is easy, but ministry brings with it a set of unique pressures that if not navigated well, you can lose your way.

Your attitude is one of the single most defining attributes of your leadership.

I’ve coached some very gifted leaders. Their natural talent and skill were through the roof, but their attitude got them in trouble and hurt their leadership and their church. In a couple of cases, it took them out.

An attitude is an inward feeling expressed by outward behavior. It’s a frame of mind or disposition. That’s why an attitude can be seen without a word being said. You notice that frown of disapproval on someone’s face in a meeting, or a pout from the sulker who didn’t get their way, or the glare of an unhappy cynic. A negative attitude is easy to spot.

The difference between a positive attitude and a negative attitude can make or break your ministry.

One of the highest compliments you can receive is to hear someone say, “I trust you.”

Don’t take that lightly. Trust takes time to earn but can be lost quickly.

As a leader, trust is usually extended to you upfront. It’s “on loan,” so to speak, until proven untrustworthy.

However, it’s not uncommon for good leaders to be caught by surprise when they are not trusted quite as fully as they thought they were.