Hiring family members is a highly debated topic loaded with opinions on both sides.
It ranges from leaders who prefer hiring family as a first choice, to those who object to nepotism of any kind.
It might be a spouse, brother or sister, aunt or uncle, and sometimes a staff member’s son or daughter. We can all cite stories that are great examples of success, and stories that seem more like your worst nightmare.
Hiring someone to join your staff is one of the coolest things ever, and simultaneously can scare you spitless.
Especially if you’ve ever had a newly hired staff person go from a dream come true to your worst nightmare.
I always love the privilege to get to add someone to the team. It represents newness, progress and taking new territory. But it’s far better to have an unfilled position, no matter how long it takes, rather than hire the wrong person.
The hiring process is complicated, it’s honestly a study in human nature. Even done well, you never remove all the risks. But there are certain things you can watch for.
Over the course of three decades of hiring experience, I have observed definite patterns and behaviors that either draw me in or drive me away from a potential staff member.
Snap judgments and quick opinions are never wise, but there are specific caution flags that I’ve learned that should not be ignored.
Is your staff team a healthy team?
How do you know?
It’s easier to know when a team is not healthy, especially if you look at the extremes.
The obvious symptoms are things like:
The outcome is that the team and organization do not function as they should.
But it’s not always that obvious because most teams are not in the red zone of extremes. There may be some isolated problems but not pervasive conditions.
Coaching leaders is one of the things about ministry that I love most. Great coaching is a truly transformational process and contributes significantly toward greater Kingdom impact.
For me, the relationships themselves are personally gratifying. It’s rewarding to have coaching and mentoring relationships also become friendships, and I love seeing my friends succeed.
For context, there is a slight difference between coaching and mentoring, and of course they overlap.
Coaching tends to be more of a week to week or month to month ongoing process, focused on more immediate results, with someone who is a regular part of your life. Investment from a great mentor may only take place once or twice a year, can be from a distance, and usually focuses in on the bigger picture and long term.
Great coaches (and mentors) ask great questions.
The questions are often unique and focused on the individual. But good coaches also have favorite “go to” questions that are helpful every time. I’ve been using one that focuses on two words for at least twenty-five years.
Dan Reiland is the Executive Pastor at 12Stone Church in Lawrenceville, Georgia. He previously partnered with John Maxwell for 20 years, first as Executive Pastor at Skyline Wesleyan Church in San Diego, then as Vice President of Leadership and Church Development at INJOY.
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