6 Primary Life Patterns of a Mature Leader

Few scenarios are more unpredictable than one with an immature leader.

An immature leader is like a grenade with the pin pulled. You don’t know when it will go off, but you know it will, and when it does it’s going to be messy.

I’ve come to deeply appreciate mature leaders and my respect for them rises quickly. Staff members who are mature add great value to the team.

It’s okay to start immature, we all do, but at some point it’s time to grow up, and lead for the good of others.

I Corinthians 13:11 makes this truth clear:

When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.”

Maturity isn’t merely about age and experience. You can be young and mature, or older and immature. Maturity is an inner quality that resonates through all the components of a leader’s life.

Maturity doesn’t mean that a leader has “arrived,” and no further growth is needed. We all have moments of immaturity, and it is therefore important to continue in our spiritual and emotional growth as a person and a leader.

6 Primary Life Patterns of a Mature Leader

1) Mature leaders take responsibility for their own actions.

This is arguably the most important factor to discern maturity. It’s not the only factor, but until a person takes responsibility for what they do and say, they are behaving immaturely.

When I was a kid and did something dumb, my mom would ask me “Why did you do that?” I often said, “I don’t know.” That’s how a child answers, and the implication was simple: I wanted to. That’s it. (Regardless of how it affects others.)

When I do or say something dumb, as an adult, I need to own it. I need to call it what it is, and take the appropriate action — be it an apology or action to correct it. Further, I should not repeat it.

This great quote sums it up well.

Your irresponsibility eventually becomes someone’s responsibility.

– Andy Stanley

2) Mature leaders continue to love even when they don’t receive love in return.

Whether it’s your children, spouse, co-workers, employees, neighbors etc., let’s be honest, you don’t always “feel the love” right? We have all experienced that.

As our example, however, Jesus demonstrated consistent, unconditional, and even sacrificial love for all of us. We all fall short of His example, but nonetheless this high standard remains for us to strive after.

There may be someone who is not treating you with the same kindness and respect with which you treat them. That is discouraging, but you have the potential to treat them well anyway. If you can discern what is underneath their actions and why they are hurting or upset, it will help you create the most redemptive outcome possible.

When someone doesn’t interact with you in a loving way, love them anyway.

This isn’t easy, but your love toward them will likely go a long way toward resolving whatever conflict may exist.

3) Mature leaders demonstrate a surrender to God.

It’s hard to admit, but it’s easier to submit to God’s will and plans for our church and how we lead when things are going like we want them to. When things are tough and not immediately going according to our prayers, the definition of surrender seems to become negotiable.

Maturity demonstrates a unique blend of confidence and humility. This quiet confidence comes from a knowledge that God gave us the abilities we have, and provides the power that allows our efforts to result in changed lives.

Humble leadership demonstrates surrender to God, and reveals maturity in the life of a leader.

Good leaders have strong vision, unique ideas, and passion for certain ministries. That’s a good thing. But our actions must always be in submission to the will of God.

4) Mature leaders are at ease within themselves.

It’s understandable if young leaders are unsettled and restless, they need time to learn how to handle insecurities, discover who they are, and how God has designed them to lead.

In time, however, maturity reveals itself when a leader is comfortable in who they are and personal insecurities have become minimal.

This personal security allows you as a leader to invest your energy into making progress, solving problems and helping people, rather than trying to get people to see you as something other than you are.

We all have insecure moments, that’s different than being an insecure person.

An insecure moment is natural to leadership because you are leading people through a process and to a new place that you haven’t been before. But you will figure it out. You’ll get there, just like you did the last time you faced a challenge or took on a bold new vision.

5) Mature leaders value accomplishment over status.

Mature leaders want to make a difference and immature leaders want to be noticed.

Immature leaders are more concerned with status, org charts and what people think about them. Mature leaders focus on the vision, what is needed to help others, and find personal delight in getting the job done.

Further, mature leaders put others first. They want more for people than from them.

Jesus would teach us to value obscurity over notoriety, but when some level of honor is entrusted to a leader, we must always use it for the good of others.

Accomplishment isn’t measured merely by the size of the organization, but by its character and the value it adds to the people it serves.

6) Mature leaders learn from mistakes and continually improve.

It can be frustrating when a gifted and talented leader seemingly refuses to learn from their mistakes. It might be anything from a lack of discipline to an independent spirit, but when a capable leader repeats the same mistake over and over, even with coaching, they are revealing immaturity.

To be blunt, they just want to do what they want to do.

Mature leaders continually learn, grow and improve. They get better at what they do.

This enables a leader to handle more responsibility, love more consistently, lead in surrender to God, live comfortably in who they are, and seek meaning over status.

20 thoughts on “6 Primary Life Patterns of a Mature Leader”

  1. Anthony Martinez

    Hey Dan thank you for this inspiring post!! It is what I needed for sure!! Thank you for the years of adding value to me and those around us!! You truly practice what you preach and live out Gods purpose in your life!! Thank you for this years blessings of this blog, it has been inspirational and I am a better leader, husband, father and servant because of it!! Merry Christmas my brother 🙏🏼🎄🙏🏼

    1. Hey Anthony, love seeing your travels online. Looks like you are having a great time!
      Thank you for your encouragement and so glad to hear this is helpful.

  2. Thank you dad for your encouragement through the teachings from the Bible, i always take study of your teachings and it has helped alto in my ministry leadership. Be blessed much as we pray for each others health so that we step in next year with alto of joy, I would like to request you to start training my leaders in the ministry so that through your coaching, i can be able to start a Bible college if possible.

    1. Gabriel,

      So glad you sense the encouragement and that these writings are helpful. As for training your leaders, my writings can train you and you can then train your leaders. Use my articles as much as you want to develop your leaders.

      Blessings!

    1. Hey Josiah!

      So glad the concept distinguishing between an insecure person and an insecure moment is helpful. I know from experience that its true!

  3. The biggest blessings in my life have been those who were older and when I was pastoring it was those who were retired pastors. Those who were toxic and gave the most trouble were those with narcissistic behaviors and narcissists. Now that I am older I am willing to give young people some grace because I realize where I was once was.

    I spoke with a man who told me that there was a mission board who had troubles with a large number of missionaries in the organization. One of the things they realized was that for one to be on the mission field as a leader required one who could make disciples. That meant the person could give away some of their power and authority so others could do well in making disciples and leading others. One who wanted power and control was not one who would raise up leaders according to 2 Timothy 2:2.

    1. Hi Gerald,

      Thank you for your comments and your last sentence is so very true. I see the same illustration in Scripture in the life of Moses and Joshua. God told Moses to give Joshua some of his authority, and he did!! It is God’s design that we empower not control.

  4. Dan, thank you for your faithful, kind, life-giving, devotion on behalf of God’s kingdom. May we not take for granted your consistent, thoughtful insights that we receive each and every Monday! Blessings to you, brother.

  5. Pastor Dan muchas gracias. Hace tiempo leo tus enseñanzas pero apenas hoy me doy cuenta que no he tenido un corazón agradecido.
    Asi que muchas gracias El Señor siga bendiciendo tu vida, familia y Ministerio para bendición de multitudes. Una espléndidas vacaciones.

    1. John,

      So good to hear, and I look forward to many more years of coaching, writing, and teaching. It’s such a blessing and privilege.

      Blessings!

      Dan

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