Your ministry can stall out for dozens of reasons such as:
- Busy instead of productive
- Lack of vision
- Low morale
- Scattered more than focused
- Trying to please everyone
But there is none surer than this one:
If you need people more than you feed people, you will soon be leading from empty.
We all “need” people to:
- Believe in the vision
- Trust your leadership
- Fill volunteer roles
- Give generously to fund ministry
- Invite friends to church
All these are true, but it’s about the order.
Which one is your more dominant inner driver? (Feed or Need?)
It’s more subtle than you think.
We all enter ministry with a passionate desire to shepherd and care for the people we serve. But somewhere along the way a subtle shift happens, we start needing them in a spiritually and emotionally unhealthy way.
It might be that you need their approval to feel successful. Or you need their attendance to feel secure or important. Perhaps you need their applause to keep going.
There have been several occasions where I caught myself feeling more important because the church was larger. That’s a problem. The moment any of us start (unintentionally) using people to nurse our own insecurities or feed ego we stop leading them for their best interests.
These lead to needing people in an unhealthy way that subtly changes our leadership. This is the most difficult blind spot to catch in leadership, and it will stall out your ministry every single time.
This deserves an honest conversation.
Here are several warning signs that your needs are greater your desire to feed.
- People have become a distraction from you getting your work done.
- You are more disappointed a person’s volunteer performance than their lack of spiritual growth.
- Numbers gain more attention and energy than stories of life change.
- Your joy factor is low.
- Your frustration level is high.
- You start trying to implement quick fixes, rather than value-driven, principle-based ministry.
Jesus said: “Feed my sheep.”
Let’s go back to the blind spot.
If you need people more than you feed people, you will soon be leading from empty. If you lead from empty, your ministry will stall out.
That may sound counterintuitive because “feeding” people can empty you. But here’s the major difference.
Feeding people as their shepherd fills you because it’s fulfilling.
We all get tired from the work of ministry. You get tired because you consistently care for and care about people, but you get to go to bed each night to get the rest you need for the next day.
That is very different than an unfulfilling and stalled out ministry where the order of priorities has flipped. That can empty you at a soul level and rob you of joy.
A truly fulfilling ministry is built on one foundational principle, a radical focus on others.
When you genuinely pour into people, you get tired, but your heart is filled.
A full heart will always energize a tired body which helps supply and sustain a potentially weary soul. This gives you the spiritual stamina to help you lead through and out of a stall.
The difference between needing people and feeding people can seem like a fine line. But when you cross over the line and flip the order of priority and focus, your leadership becomes desperate. People can sense desperate.
The leader who lives first to feed the people lives dependent. Dependent upon God. This practice keeps you filled so you can feed others. And when priorities are in the right order, things like serving, giving, and inviting are naturally in the best interest of those you serve. That is part of how they grow spiritually.
5 Practices of leaders with “feed and need” in the right order:
1) You genuinely love people as a natural lifestyle
Church leaders don’t last long without authentic love for their people.
If you run on empty, it’s easy to become distant from people, and you can’t love people from a distance.
Genuine love always finds a way for tangible and personal expression.
It’s that same genuine love for people that fires you up when you see someone’s life change. That’s the motivation, the mission, and the reward. If people become more of a distraction from getting your work done than a person of value with spiritual needs, that’s a major warning sign. You can’t help everyone on an individual basis, therefore the question is who are you coming alongside on a personal level.
When you love someone, you want the best for them.
2) You sincerely want the best for those you serve
People pursued Jesus because He healed them, not because He drew big crowds.
2000 years ago people wanted to be part of what Jesus was doing because He taught them truth that helped them live a better life, not because He was popular or powerful.
Jesus always wants the best for people; He wants us to have “life to the full!” (John 10:10)
Delivering your best ministry requires both a shepherd’s heart and a strategic mind. A shepherd’s heart cares about the one and strategic mind helps you reach the many.
3) You spiritually protect those you are called to shepherd
The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. (John 10:10-11)
As Christian leaders, we help protect people spiritually primarily in three ways.
- Teaching biblical truth
- Praying for people and teaching them to pray
- Discipling and challenging toward maturity
The best spiritual cover is for each person to be able to stand their ground, to stand firm, (Ephesians 6) under temptation and attack. As leaders, it’s our responsibility to lead people to this level of faith and spiritual maturity.
4) You cheerfully invest time with people
You can’t be with all the people all the time, but your desire to be with people matters. Your personality, gifts, and leadership responsibilities aren’t the issue. Good leaders invest time with people, (and enjoy it.)
This can be more of a challenge in large and very large churches. In fact, the larger a church becomes, the greater the risk of becoming an event planner with a theological degree. Time with people matters.
There’s nothing wrong with systems, processes, and events. They help you reach more people. But at some point, we need to connect with people at a heart level.
5) You strategically and intentionally invest in the growth of those you lead
- Strategically, we ask, what are the needs of the organization?
- Personally, we ask, what are the needs of the individual?
They are both important questions.
When you lead dependent (on God) and not desperate from your own needs, you are freed up and empowered to invest in others.
There are two primary lanes by which you invest in those you lead:
Care and shepherding
Care and shepherding focuses on someone’s personal life and spiritual maturity.
Training and development
Training and development focuses on serving and leadership.
From a new Christian to an effective spiritual leader, I love helping people grow. My hunch is you do too. That’s a core trait of a leader who desires to feed the people more than need them.
